


Cold.

by Ineedtogetadamlife0



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Mentioned Annabeth Chase, One-Sided Relationship, abuse of commas, and italics, and overall bad grammar lmao, because that's all i got, im sorry if this is terrible, my first fic im posting onto here, sorry bros it aint a happy ending today, tell me if I should tag something else
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2021-01-16 22:34:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ineedtogetadamlife0/pseuds/Ineedtogetadamlife0
Summary: Loving Percy Jackson was as terrible as it was thrilling.





	Cold.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So this is my first fic here and i have no bloody clue what im doing, so, if you're unfortunate enough to be reading this fic im sincerely sorry lmao. 
> 
> its been months since ive written anything but its 5am and at some point i got a line in my head and just kept adding to it and now i have this 
> 
> Anyways, have fun demon children :)  
Robin x

Loving Percy Jackson was as terrible as it was thrilling.

It made Nico sick to his stomach with savage stinging bees that made him feel like his insides were being torn apart and left him feeling hollow and so unbelievably _cold_ that he worried whether he would ever feel the warmth that occasionally curled around his ribs and his heart again, the same warmth that made him all _giddy_ inside because in those moments he was truly and so _undoubtedly happy that it was hard to breathe-_ but it also made him feel like his stomach was full with butterflies that made the ground fall from beneath his feet and gave him that _exhilarating rush_ down his spine of something he could not identify nor could he describe in any way other than the fact that he was unsure on whether he loved it or hated it with a burning passion.

Loving Percy Jackson felt the same as watching the sunrise at that one place that you know will frame the sun perfectly and all you can feel in the moment is a peace that is so _unique_ that it feels like a terrible secret that you would not dare to tell to others, even those you trust the most and yet all you want to do is _scream it from the rooftops_ even though you have no clue _what_ exactly the secret was in the first place- maybe the secret was _you all along._

Loving Percy Jackson reminded Nico of a _storm_, relentless and unforgiving and so _incredibly_ sad that you sing to it in hopes that it will sing back and tell you its pain as you have told it yours- _it never does_ -a storm that makes you _weep_ because of its broken beauty, because you can connect with its pain, that _pure sorrow_ and it overwhelms you because _you’re not alone_ and isn’t that just beautiful, not being so alone anymore.

Loving Percy Jackson was a _curse_ and it was a _benediction_ to Nico.

His love for the boy was a raging ocean that could tear his world apart, something that could either _raise_ him or _raize_ him and it scared him more than anything.

And watching Percy walk away, his arm around Annabeth's shoulders (he tries not to be angry at the girl, after all, if he had someone who loved him that much and who he returned those feelings for (_he already loved someone like that, but he knows that they will never love him back, they will never love him like they love her- _) he wouldn’t let that person go either, but he can’t stop the burning _resentment_ that rolls through his body at the sight of them, so perfect together that he wants to_ vomit-_ his chest tightens and the Italian feels heat build up behind his eyes because he feels as if someone had ripped his heart out of his body and the only way that it could ever be returned to him, the only way he will ever feel _happiness_ again, feel _warm again_ is if the green eyed boy would just look back at him- if only for a second and prove that even if he will never love the obsidian eyed boy as much as Nico wants him to- as much as Nico _wishes he would_\- just proving that he cares the smallest amount is enough for Nico to be able to live with, and for a second -_ just one painstaking second_ \- it looks as if Percy might turn back -_ come on ,come on, come on you idiot just look at me, please_ \- and 

_Oh well, _  
_Maybe happiness just wasn’t meant for him, but that’s ok,_  
_being cold is what he’s good at afterall, right?_


End file.
